I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
that is very illegal...i love you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
