Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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