Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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