I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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