why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
