I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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