Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
