He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
