she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
