Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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