worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
