you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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