once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
