The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
