bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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