I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
