You smell like stripper and shame
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
