He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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