If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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