Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
