I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize