don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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