U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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