Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
