Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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