would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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