you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
