Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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