Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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