They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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