HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
