I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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