I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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