Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
