Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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