she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
