He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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