we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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