is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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