Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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