My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.