I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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