Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
