Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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