My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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