So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have fence marks all over my body
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
