I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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