yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
