You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize