Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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