other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
