dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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