We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
