i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let's paint friendship bongs
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
