I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
