she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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