so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
