why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
how does that bad decision feel?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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