It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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