Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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