I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
