it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
