i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
